I gotta tell you, I’m feeling pretty good. I’ve been trying some things I’ve learned from a book called “Scene & Structure” by Jack M. Bickham and I can feel my writing skill improving by leaps and bounds. The creative juices expand and fill the skeleton I’ve created. It’s alive. ALIVE!!!
I’m also charged up because one of my favorite bands released a new CD. “Into the Now” is Tesla’s first new CD in 10 years. From my first (then compulsive second) listen, I find myself feeling nostalgic for these songs that I’ve never heard. They’re just as good as the songs Tesla was making a decade ago, but they also feel comfortable and current.
They have sample clips on their website. Go check ’em out. You’ll be glad you did! http://www.teslatheband.com/
And, yes, I’ll be at their show in Pittsburgh on May 1st.
It’s been awhile since I posted. I’m sure you are just chomping at the bit to know how the big bowling showdown went. It was our big chance. Our moment of glory. We had just one chance to prove to all the nay-sayers that we were the best! We stood proud, strong and determined. We would make them respect us as bowlers and all around superior people. It was all on the line…
And we botched it. We were miserable failures. We didn’t win a single game.
Sometimes that’s how it goes. We had fun. Not as much fun as a crushing victory would have been, but we had fun. And beer. Lots of beer. So there was an upside. Beer.
I don’t have a MST3K episode to talk about today. I haven’t got around to watching one for a while. Just in case any of you MiSTie readers are jonesing for a fix, let me shout out a little random reference. “WHO IS MERRITT STONE?” Only the really dedicated MiSTies know that one.
However, my peeps, I won’t let you down. I do have a 50% Movie Review. This is a new thing, so allow me to explain. I watch quite a few movies on cable. For one reason or another, I don’t always finish them. It could be exhaustion, disgust, apathy or just too much beer. Whatever the reason, I didn’t see the whole thing, so I can only review 50% of it. So, on to the fun…
The 50% Movie Review of “Stephen King’s Dreamcatcher”
Four guys have a telepathic link that may or may not have something to do with a retarded guy named “Duddy” that they met as kids. Duddy was stripped naked and being forced to eat a dog turd by some bullies. The four guys stepped in and taunted the bullies with their obvious weakness and small stature, causing the bullies to run away.
In the present day, the four guys meet in a mountain cabin for their 20th annual hunting trip. They immediatly seperate and get into trouble. Two of them wreck a truck. The other two find an obviously diseased guy and bring him back to the cabin. They drink some beer and make fart jokes, then the diseased guy dies on the toilet.
Meanwhile, the two that wrecked the truck find an obviously diseased woman and, of course, try to bring her back to the cabin.
Back at the cabin, our intrepid heroes investigate the dead guy. There is a loud plopping sound in the toilet, so they push the dead guy off the seat. Something’s been up his butt and now it’s in the toilet! They can’t flush it down! Panic! (I’m not making this up, really.) One of the guys sits on the lid, while the other goes outside to search for some tape.
The toilet guard has an overwhelming urge for a toothpick and risks moving to the edge of the seat to get one. Pow! The toilet monster escapes. It looks like a huge, brown turd-snake with vertical, razor sharp teeth. In one swift movement, the toilet monster slices off the guards fingers–
And then I turned it off.
If you’re into movies that have a lot of poop, farting, belching, bloody smears and telepathic guys that drink beer and aren’t very bright, I highly recommend the first 50% of “Stephen King’s Dreamcatcher.” For the rest of us, I recommend doing something, anything else during the first half of this movie.
I can’t say anything about he second half, because I didn’t see it. I do remember something from the preview that I didn’t see in the first 50% of this film. Someone says, “That’s not Jonesy,” then there’s a quick pan to Jonesy making a goofy face. I guess if that’s compelling to you, you can feel free to skip the first half of the movie and get right to it.
This has been the first episode of 50% Movie Reviews: Watching the first half of movies, so you don’t have to.
Until next time, my faceless minions! Goodnight.