Well Duh!


It’s that time of year again. All the Forces of Anti-Fun are on the move again. US Prosecutor Kym Worthy and The National Institute for Media and the Family (NIMF) have both released Top 10 Video Games for Parents to Avoid lists.

Here are the two lists:

Kym Worthy’s list of ten games for parents to boycott over Christmas 2007 (With Comments!)

1. Grand Theft Auto – ESRB Rating M
“Allows to players to act out crimes and rewards players for doing so.”
2. Manhunt – ESRB Rating M
“Revolves around the making of a snuff film.”
3. Scarface – ESRB Rating M
“Involves buying and selling drugs and killing hundreds of people.”
4. 50 Cent: Bulletproof – ESRB Rating M
“Rapper 50 cent is involved in a web of corruption, double crosses and shady deals that lead him on a bloody path through New York’s drug underworld.”
5. 300: The Video Game – ESRB Rating M
“Invites game room gladiators to slice their way through the Persian army.”
6. The Godfather – ESRB Rating M
“Opens with a ‘child’s version’ of the player witnessing the murder of his father.”
7. Killer-7 – ESRB Rating M
“Experienced adult gamers call this the most violent and twisted game ever played.”
8. Resident Evil 4 – ESRB Rating M
“Shoot outs involving massive crowds of enemies in large open areas. A typical play-through can result in the killing of up to 900 enemies.”
9. God of War – ESRB Rating M
“A sea of unrelenting violence”
10. Hitman: Blood Money – ESRB Rating M
“Self-proclaimed ‘most violent’ game of a series. This game glamorizes killing.”

NIMF Parent Alert! Games to Avoid for your Children and Teens 2007

1. Assassin’s Creed – ESRB Rating M

2. Call to Duty 4 – ESRB Rating M

3. Conan – ESRB Rating M

4. The Darkness – ESRB Rating M

5. Jericho ESRB – Rating M

6. Kane and Lynch: Dead Men – ESRB Rating M

7. Manhunt 2 – ESRB Rating M

8. Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles – ESRB Rating M

9. Stranglehold – ESRB Rating M

10. Time Shift – ESRB Rating M

Well, what can I say about these? Of course they aren’t appropriate for kids. Note they all already have an M (mature) rating which is displayed with this symbol on the game box.

If you’re not familiar with the ESRB rating system an M is roughly equivalent to the MPAA’s R rating. If you’re under 17 you can’t view/play it without your parents’ permission. In other words, these games were made specifically for gamers over 17.

NIMF had this to say about the ESRB ratings: “This year also marked a laudable effort on the part of the ESRB to make ratings education for parents a higher priority than ever before. Creating and distributing a series of public service announcements (PSAs) about the importance of using video game ratings, the ESRB teamed up with governors and state attorney generals in Utah, Georgia, and Rhode Island, Washington, and several others… Unfortunately, these efforts aren’t working well enough. Parents are still largely ignorant of the ratings.”

To summarize that statement – The ESRB has made great efforts to explain their ratings, but parents are too stupid to understand them. Or too lazy to read the box.

Maybe… or maybe some parents just don’t agree with the ratings. It’s very possible that some parents believe that Grand Theft Auto is too much for their 15 year old, but Resident Evil is okay because the enemies are zombies (a traditional monster) and not people.

Both Ms. Worthy and NIMF act as though they are providing a service to parents when, in reality, they just want to remove all violence and sex from video games. That’s the only way to be sure that no child plays a violent game. Especially when parents themselves are still allowed to make decisions about what their children can see and do.

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3 Comments

Filed under Video Games

3 responses to “Well Duh!

  1. Three

    I’m still chuckling that the group is called “NIMF.” LOL.

    And seriously, if parent’s can’t be bothered to read a box and take a part in their child’s development, then why the hell are they parents? Oh, that’s right…they couldn’t figure out that birth control thing.

  2. Reverend Khopzilla

    I’ve always hated any list like this because by assuming that parents dont pay attention what the hell they’re buying for their kids it does 2 things: 1- it wastes my tax money….2- it turns my government into a babysitter network for kids that arent mine.

    I just have a question about one of the entries on this years list:

    5. 300: The Video Game – ESRB Rating M
    “Invites game room gladiators to slice their way through the Persian army.”

    Isn’t this game gonna be useful to prepare our army for when we go to war with Iran??? Maybe they shouldnt be so hard on the makers of this fine game, when in 6 months we’ll all be seeing little ribbons on cars that say ” I support our troops when they slice their way through the Persian Army.”

  3. Reverend Khopzilla

    I understand that it’s easy to make a cheap joke at the expense of groups that claim that they want to protect youth, when (as much jaded adults) we know they their true purpose is get media attention out for themselves to generate more funds so they can continue to exist without truely working. Especially when they choose a name that seems to make you want them to stay away from the group they are suppossedly protecting. I myself wouldn’t take any advice from a group of Nymph’s who tell me what’s best for my children.
    After hearing this lame joke over and over again, the good people at the National Institute for Media and the Family (NIMF) have decided to change their name. At a news conference yesterday, US Prosecutor Kym Worthy had announced that the N.I.M.F. will be known as “The Parents Institute of Games- division of Frequent Unasked for Critical Kidstoys Analysis Register” or, for short, “P.I.G.F.U.C.K.A.R.”.
    The P.I.G.F.U.C.K.A.R.’s want you to know that your children are the only things on their minds. The safety of American Youth is at the forefrount of the P.I.G.F.U.C.K.A.R. creedo. When you have some extra cash that you know can do some good if you donate, the P.I.G.F.U.C.K.A.R.’s want you to think of them. When it comes to video games, you can either read the box or do what the P.I.G.F.U.C.K.A.R.’s tell you to do. I think the answer is to this is easy. Without groups within the government like the P.I.G.F.U.C.K.A.R.’s telling us what to think, where would we be? I’ll tell you where. Our children would be a generation of perverts intent on contributing nothing to our American way of life if not for the P.I.G.F.U.C.K.A.R.’s.
    I applaud the P.I.G.F.U.C.K.A.R.’s and all the hard work they do year round. Especially at this time of year when they could use your donations the most. Just stay clear of the Christmas Ham sale they endorse.

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