Ruin Your Kids’ Lives In One Easy Step

I’m not finished transferring my old blog entries yet, but I can’t let this one go.

So, there’s this family in eastern PA that called the media to complain that the local ShopRite supermarket bakery won’t put their 3-year-olds’s full name on his birthday cake.   Sounds terrible, right?  But wait.  What’s the kid’s name anyway?




Holy crap!?!?!? Why would you name your kid Adolf Hitler!?!?!?!  The father Heath Campbell said his ancestors are German, he liked the name and “no one else in the world would have that name.”  He claims he can’t understand what all the fuss is about.

So is Heath just a product of the American school system? Did he just make an innocent mistake naming little Adolf Hitler due to his lack of historical knowledge?  Well Heath, what did you name your other kids?

Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell


JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell

Those also seem like odd choices— Wait! Is that your car!?!?

And what’s that on your hand?

That’s it!!! You’re full of crap! You couldn’t have just changed you own name, you bastard. You had to make your kids pariahs by giving them overtly racist names!  Then, you call the news the moment someone dared to mention the obvious.  I’m sure there’s some weasly legal reason you can’t be charged with child abuse, but you are abusing your kids.  There’s a special place in Hell for people like you. I hope you don’t have to wait too long to get there.

And little Adolf, Aryan and Hinler… once you’re 18 you can change your names for under 100 bucks. Hopefully you won’t be too screwed up to do it.

Edit: This entry got me so freakin angry I forgot to link to the original story. Oops! Here it is:  Hitler Cake



Filed under Idiocracy

2 responses to “Ruin Your Kids’ Lives In One Easy Step

  1. Three

    Wait a minute … those aren’t swastikas, they’re American Indian good luck symbols! And … and … and … OK, I can’t even pretend to defend these idiots. And what I think is really funny is that the one Nazi they’re trying to identify with isn’t “Hinler,” it’s “Himmler.” They should at least CORRECTLY spell the name of the genocidal freak they’re trying to glorify.

    Idiots. There seems to be an awful lot of them anymore…

  2. You know these assholes simply live for the reaction they get… You know how they say that abused dogs always come back because at least the abuse is some sort of attention? Same thing. These guys love having the world dump on them because they are at least being noticed. They know jack-shit about the real history, they know that people hate Hitler and they want that kind of attention too.

    If you ask me they have become useless enough to used for medical experiments without their own consent. Which would be ironically in line with their own supposed beliefs.

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